Ever since she can remember, Sarika held herself to impossible standards. As a victim of both physical and emotional abuse whenever she made a mistake, Sarika learned that being anything less than perfect was unacceptable. And so, she strived to be the best in all that she did, especially academically, hoping to please those around her. Even after the abuse stopped, her need to please others didn’t, as she had been programmed to rely on others’ approval for her own sense of self-worth. When she began to notice her sadness from the constant internal stress she was experiencing, she attempted to disclose her emotions with those around her. However, unlike the praise she received when sharing her achievements, being open about her emotions was met with invalidation and ridicule. Stung by that reaction, she decided to keep her feelings hidden.
The worse Sarika felt inside, the more she needed approval on the outside. She searched for this anywhere she could find, either through praise from her teachers or acceptance from her peers. Still, Sarika was not able to feel truly okay. She started to hate who she was and the way she looked, and her sleeping and eating patterns changed. One day, her feelings took over her and she completely dissociated from herself. It was then that Sarika was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Everything became worse when she began being cyberbullied, as Sarika had learned to see herself the way others saw her. This increased her feelings of sadness to a level so intense that Sarika involuntarily became numb. In an attempt to feel something, she began to self-harm, which ultimately led to a suicide attempt.
Sarika desired an escape from her life as it was and became thrilled when she was accepted into New York University (NYU). When she learned that even her acceptance to a world-renowned university was receiving criticism, she finally realized that she could no longer leave her self-worth in the hands of others. If she stayed dependent on others’ approval instead of finding confidence within herself, she would never be happy. Sarika began to understand that trying to be “perfect” was an unrealistic goal; nobody is perfect, and nobody can control how other people perceive them. The only person she could control was herself.
Sarika decided to distance herself from what she thought others wanted and to focus on what she truly desired. She began to follow her passions for dance and writing, as well as befriend people who brought out the best in her. She finally accepted that she was worth something, and that she deserved to be happy. This led Sarika to therapy, where she learned about herself, her earlier experiences, and how her mind had been programmed as a result. She discovered the power of understanding and processing her emotions, rather than pushing them away. And she discovered the immense value of authenticity, self-compassion for one’s pain, and self-love for one’s being. Sarika worked on her mental health for years, and she has emerged from her journey happier and healthier than her child self ever thought was possible.
Sarika wants to empower those who are struggling to seek help, with her own story serving as an example that life does not only have the potential to get better; it can become spectacular. She hopes to inspire others to accept themselves for who they are, and to approach their own stories with openness, curiosity, and compassion, as she truly believes that this is how people eventually become the sole master of their own minds.
Sarika has recently obtained her doctorate in clinical psychology and currently works at a private outpatient practice in New Jersey, treating clients with a variety of mental illnesses including anxiety, depression, and trauma-related disorders. She has a wealth of experience both personally and professionally, and she truly believes that her story has not been her weakness, but rather her greatest strength.
Sarika is based in central New Jersey. In-person speaking engagements beyond 90 miles may require a fee for travel expenses.
Listen to Sarika explain why she tells her story:
