Kathy’s story spans two countries, two cultures, and a long journey from surviving to thriving. She speaks with honesty and warmth about trauma, anxiety, depression, and the courage it takes to begin healing, especially when you’ve spent your whole life trying to be perfect.
Kathy was born in the United States but raised by her mother in Colombia. She grew up without a relationship with her father, something she felt deeply but didn’t feel like she could express.
Living in a multigenerational home meant being surrounded by love, but it also meant being exposed to recurring conflict, alcohol misuse, and mental health struggles within the family. From a young age, Kathy learned to be grateful, quiet, and always achieving, patterns that later became core parts of her mental health story.
In middle school, Kathy’s need for external validation through grades shifted to external validation from her peers. Kathy began acting out in ways she never had before, which resulted in her being sent to military school. Kathy’s perfectionism kicked into high gear, and on paper, she was doing the best she had ever done. That was until she was told she’d be moving to the U.S to live with her father.
Kathy faced the shock of trying to rebuild her life in an unfamiliar country with an unfamiliar father. Not knowing English challenged her in a deeply personal way: for someone who had always relied on academic success and high achievement to feel worthy, suddenly not being able to communicate not only challenged her feelings about herself but also challenged her ability to maintain a support system. Kathy felt alone.
During these high school years, the combination of cultural adjustment, family trauma, food insecurity, and years of emotional suppression made it harder and harder to cope. She started losing motivation, withdrawing, and feeling disconnected from her identity. Kathy was experiencing depression, eventually leading to suicidal ideation. Her turning point came when her mental health deteriorated enough that she could no longer pretend everything was fine. Opening up for the first time — after years of feeling like she had to hold everything together — allowed her to access support.
Through therapy, medication, challenging thoughts, learning how to maintain healthy boundaries, and building a support system, Kathy was able to defy all the odds. She learned English, graduated from college, and is currently enrolled in a master’s program. Today, Kathy holds hope for students, because she knows from personal experience what it feels like to lose it. Kathy hopes every student walks away knowing their worth is immeasurable, it’s okay to not be okay, and they are never alone.
Kathy is based in Central New Jersey. In-person speaking engagements beyond 90 miles may require a fee for travel expenses.
